About Me, Life, Music, Prose

The Detachment Realization

I write quite a bit of sad songs, sad love songs in particular which is not news to anyone that knows my music. However I realized recently that I can’t write a reflectively sad song when I’m in the thick of it. I now see that I have to be somewhat emotionally detached from a subject in order to be able to write about it. I am beginning to understand that when I write (songs exclusively this hasn’t been the case with poetry or prose) I do so with “an outsiders perspective” be it literally or even when I am the subject, in the sense that enough time has passed for me to be able to approach the writing process objectively.

I had an inkling that this was the case in 2010 when I realized I had not written a song about a really bad breakup I had years earlier. In this case I hadn’t even written a poem about it. I recall a conversation with my mom about how I thought I could now see the full picture enough to actually write the song. When I finally wrote it, I had this feeling of satisfaction, like it was everything I had to say and it didn’t even make me tear up. A few months later however I was surprisingly able to write a song when my grandfather died, I cried on every line and blurred lots of ink but I completed it in time for his funeral. I didn’t realize it then and honestly I didn’t realize it until a few days ago, but I wrote the song not about how much I’d miss him nor about my feelings but from the perspective of my mother and grandmother. I know now the only reason I was able to write that song was because I did it from “an outsiders perspective”, though done in the moments of experiencing the loss myself. Continue reading “The Detachment Realization”

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About Me, Life, Prose

Loss of a Friend

Years ago I was crazy about this guy he was fun, hilarious, talented and cute, so cute. I still remember the night we met my friend had a crush on his roommate and she brought me along to hang. We were stillĀ in high school and these guys were in their early 20’s so we felt so cool. He had a personality that drew me to him instantly and like magic he was drawn to me too. We wound up spending a year and a half ripping and running all over the streets of Los Angeles. He had dreams and passion that even surpassed my own and made me want to be amazing even though he made me feel like I already was. He was the first guy beside my dad to tell me I was beautiful, and I believed him. I still remember the day in 2006 when he told me he had to moved away. I remember him telling me it was temporary. I remember him telling me he would be back, “3 months tops”. I remember the way it felt when he hugged and kissed me for the last time. Continue reading “Loss of a Friend”

Lyrics

So Long

So Long

Quarter life and I’ve seen tears both happy and sad
and love has fallen from my eyes for the good and for the bad
But I saw a heartbreak the other day
when the strongest woman I know tried to act like she was okay

And if we’d had forever it would still be to soon
You can feel the chill but it’s not cold here in this room
And how do you say goodbye when he’s already gone
I wanna tell her it’s okay to cry when the sadness last so long
it last so long Continue reading “So Long”