A Burden Unborn

A Burden Unborn

I carry this burden within my soul
It shakes me gently and releases poison into my veins
It feels good but aches completely
It grows and becomes more than it started off being
And it is all I’ve ever feared but all I’ve ever wanted
It is all that I planed for yet totally unexpected
Full of love and also the death of me
This burden inside is squeezing the life out of me
And my body wants it out but it’s not ready to be free
And my heart wants to embrace it but that would mean
I believe I can’t accept this burden though I asked for it all the same
I hear it rumbling inside creating shock waves electric pulses
invisible to the human eye but strong enough to knock you to your feet
It steals a piece of my existence every second of every day and
binds together making itself stronger and me weaker making me sick
Making me weak to the grasp of it pulling me in
This foreign object in side that is of an art
I do not know but see every time
I walk past a mirror or look into my lovers eyes
This burden haunts me from within though
I have not a clue what it is completely aware of its actual existence
Other than the fact that I know something is amidst
I know that there must be a reason for this anxiety
A reason for the tears and vomit
A reason for my wanting there to be a reason
Other than the only reason I now think it must be and now wondering
I’m ok with that as if I had the choice not to be

By Monica Daniels


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